Man, I Hate College

I applied to some colleges for the Fall 2011 semester a couple of weeks ago (go, me). Just some CUNY schools: Hunter, City College, York, and Baruch, although I'm hoping and praying for Hunter. But thinking about it is freaking me the FUCK out. Here's why.

1. I applied as a transfer, but now I'm wondering if that was a good idea. In case you didn't know, I didn't get speccctacular grades my first semester at Fordham (although they were all passing), but my second semester was an absolute FUCKING DISASTER. I'm pretty sure I got like...a B, a C, an F, an NGR, and an Absent. Yeah, really fucking disastrous. CUNY schools aren't just some shit school that will take anybody, they're decent fucking schools. And my GPA from Fordham is clearly NOT up to par. So maybe I should have just applied as a freshman. I don't know. I don't even know if I can change my application at this point. Even if they did accept me, I'd only have enough credits to be accepted as a second-semester freshman anyway, sooo...yeah. Suckage.

2. I have to fill out the FAFSA and get my transcript and move down there and all this crazy shit and just the thought is making me panicky.

3. The deadline to apply for the Fall 2011 semester is tomorrow. I didn't think I had to send in my transcript juuust yet, so I put it off. Now I just checked the website, and it says I need to have my application "and all supporting materials" in. What does that mean?? Does that mean my Fordham and Coleman transcripts?? What the fuck?? Will I have to wait till spring now?? AHHHH.

4. I don't even WANT to go back to school, particularly. I have literally no idea what I want to major in, what I want to study...I don't want to waste my time and money taking classes that I won't need, I'm not the type who just wants to be in school...that's the reason why I really really want to be in school next fall, because I know that if I don't go soon, I'll never go back. And I know that I have to go back because you neeeeed to go to college to be successful in our society, unless you have some natural gift or talent that you can live off of, which I most certainly do not. So I don't want to go back to school, but I have to, but I don't even know what I want to do, but it may not even matter because I might not be able to go till the spring anyway.

Fuck. This. Shit.

Fucking cheers,
GIM (no fucking heart today)